Saying something stupid
by Triple P
Summary: Tai says something stupid that is going to destroy his and Matt's entire life... TAITO Don't know how the story's gonna develop. Tell me. *Chapter 12 is up now*
1. Default Chapter

~Saying something stupid~  
  
Disclaimer.  
  
Okay. First of all I want to say that I am German and that is the reason why I probably do not know as much vocabulary/words as you do. Please don't flame me for this. Oh yeah, please excuse my grammar and my spelling faults. I AM GERMAN!  
  
Please read and review and tell me what you think. ( I want to improve my English)  
  
Warnings: perhaps yaoi in later chapters ( I am not sure of it yet) but If I decide to write yaoi, it will be a TAITO ( I LOVE Matt and Tai)  
  
Maybe the characters are all a bit OOC… don't know how thy are in the American  
  
show  
  
Oh, and Kukuru, I DO NOT HAVE A BRAIN DAMAGE!!! You are a brilliant writer!  
  
Greetings to Kukuru and TG, my fanclub!!! Küsschen an Euch!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
~Saying something stupid~  
  
~Matt's POV~  
  
It started the day Tai and I decided to go on a holiday trip.  
  
It was a rainy Sunday morning in my hometown Odaiba. I like rain. Do not know why. Liked rain since I was born, I would say. It is so cool and gentle. Like a warm summer breeze.  
  
I would say that I was a normal seventeen years old Japanese boy. But sometimes I felt like I'd be twenty-one or older because of all the adventures I went through when I was younger.  
  
I speak about the digital world where I spent most of my spare time. I found friends for life in this funny and weird world like Gabumon and the digital world was the reason why Tai and I became such big friends.  
  
The first time I saw Tai, I thought that he was a very egoistic, weird, cucumber and crazy jackass.  
  
I really did not like him. You have to know that my younger brother TK and I have a really close bond although our parents are divorced. However, I thought that Tai would break this bond between TK and me. I thought that Tai was a better brother than I could ever be and I was afraid. Afraid, that Yagami Taichi would steal my brother. My brother was the only person I had on earth. And then, Tai came and wanted to steal my brother. And therefore I hated him. Today I know that Tai did not want to stand between TK and me. But try to explain this to an eleven years old child. It is difficult. Believe me. However, the more I spoke to Taichi, the more the bond between us grew stronger. And now we are the biggest friends someone ever saw.  
  
And then I had my band. At the moment, I had lot to do with rehearsing and that stuff so I probably neglected Tai, TK and the others. I hoped that they would not be mad at me. But the next Saturday we had a very important gig and because of this we had to practise and practise and practise even more…  
  
Then I heard the ringing of our telephone. I was sure that my dad was at home so I stayed in my room and tuned my bass guitar while I was sitting on my bed.  
  
"Matt? Tai is on the telephone.", I heard my Dad shout from the living room.  
  
"Thanks dad! I'm on my way!", I shouted back and placed my beautiful bass guitar on my bed.  
  
I crossed my little room with the many posters of Jimmy Hendrix and Bon Jovi and went over to the living room where our telephone was.  
  
"Hey Tai. What's going on, dude?", I asked.  
  
"Nothing. That's the reason why I phoned you.", Tai responded.  
  
"Oh. I understand." I had no clue what he was talking about but I know Tai and guessed, that he was going to tell me whatever he wanted to.  
  
"No, Matt. You don't understand. You would never have said 'I understand' if you really understand it. I know you.", Tai said. Damn, he saw through my lie. He knew me pretty damn well.  
  
"Tai. Shut up and tell me why you phoned me.", I said directly.  
  
"Okay okay. Wait. The reason why I phoned you is, that nothing is going on so I wanted to ask you if you wanna come to the basketball court with me." I should have known it. He always wants to play a little game when nothing's going on. That's a rule!  
  
"Sure thing, Tai.", I responded. I did not have anything to do, either. Sure, I had to practise, but I practised the whole day and I needed a break.  
  
"Can you come right now?"  
  
"I'm in the park in about ten minutes. Are you gonna bring a ball with you?", I asked and hoped, that he would do this.  
  
"I'll do it. See ya."  
  
"Bye."  
  
I hung up the phone and quickly put my shoes on. I better had to hurry up if I didn't want to come to late. I am a punctual person and I hate if somebody comes to late.  
  
"Dad, I'm going to the basketball court. I'll be home at about nine o'clock.", I shouted as I opened our front door.  
  
"Are you going to cook me something when you're home again?", my dad asked; he was sitting on the couch in the living room and watched TV. It was a talk-show, I think. But I'm not sure of it.  
  
"Whatever.", I answered and closed the door behind me.  
  
I run down the steps of our apartments and risked a quick glance at my watch.  
  
"Damn. Just five more minutes.", I said out loud and run as fast as my legs would carry me.  
  
During this 'recordbreaking run' I thought about something very important for me.  
  
  
  
~End of chapter one~  
  
Author's Note:  
  
What do you think? Shall I go on?  
  
I know that it's pretty mean of me to let you hanging like this.  
  
But if I get enough reviews (speak about 5 =^_^=) I'll continue.  
  
Please tell me what you think is going to happen next.  
  
Triple P 


	2. Chapter Two

~Saying something stupid~  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Okay guys! Thanks for your reviews! They helped me a lot.  
  
Don't know how many chapters this story is going to have. Maybe about five or six. Let's see.  
  
Oh. I forgot to say it the last time. The characters don't belong to me, they belong to… you know already. =^_^=  
  
'Kay. It's getting more TAITOish here.  
  
Please read and review! And don't forget that I'm German!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
~Saying something stupid~  
  
~Tai's POV~  
  
I finally called him. I can't believe I did that. Okay, I believe it, but… I don't know how to say it. It's very difficult for me.  
  
You know, I called him so often in the past few years, but this time, it was very… special.  
  
I can't say when it started but I'm pretty sure that I had this feelings for him since our first time in the digital world. No, not this first time. I mean our first stay there. We were about eleven years old and I was head over heals since then. I'm pretty sure that I love Ishida Yamato.  
  
Although we beat us up often and that stuff, I loved him.  
  
I loved anything about him. His beautiful blond hair, his feminine features… don't laugh, it's really so…, his singing voice. But the most fascinating about Matt were his azure eyes. They still are. These eyes are so… amazing and fantastic. You could read his soul through his eyes. Every emotion Matt has shines in his eyes. Sadness, happiness, sorrow… Just amazing.  
  
He always gave this cool and intrepidly guy but his real friends knew how he really was. He was afraid to lose his little brother Takeru. His parents' divorce knocked him sideways. He had lost his dear brother once and he did not want to lose him another time.  
  
So he saw a rival in me. I knew it. His behaviour has been different after TK, that's Takeru's nickname, said, that he could take care of himself. Matt thought that I told Takeru to say that.  
  
And that's the reason why Matt hated me.  
  
Luckily, we became such big friends after we spoke about the whole thing.  
  
Yeah, and right now I was sitting in the park and awaited Matt.  
  
I carried my basket ball with me and I decided to play a bit.  
  
I wanted to say Matt how much I cared about him. But I didn't know how. Should I just say it or should I give a few hints instead and let him guess? A dilemma.  
  
It was still raining, but I knew that Matt loved rain and the ain wasn't as bad as it was a few hours ago.  
  
I wasn't in the mood to play alone anymore. So I decided that I would wait for Matt to come.  
  
A few minutes later, Matt was standing in front of me and greeted me friendly.  
  
"Hey Matt. Where have you been?", I asked curiously.  
  
"Sorry, Tai. I had to promise my dad to cook for him after our little game.", he answered.  
  
"Oh. 'Kay. Just asked. Let's start."  
  
"Whatever."  
  
~Matt's POV~  
  
Finally I was at the basketball court with Tai. I thought I wouldn't be there in time. And I really wasn't there in time. Damn. But Tai wouldn't mind. Pretty cool.  
  
"Matt?", Tai asked.  
  
"No, man. What's wrong with you? Why won't you start?", I asked. Man, this guy really could piss me off sometimes.  
  
"I… I have to tell you something."  
  
"Gods. Okay. Say it and then let's start!", I ordered him. I could see that tai was nervous in some way. But why would he be nervous? He never was nervous.  
  
"Let's sit on the bench over there." Tai pointed at the green bench on the other side of the court. We went over there and sat down.  
  
"Tai, you know that this bench is wet?", I asked, giggling.  
  
"Matt? I wanted to say that…!", he started.  
  
"I thought you wanted to tell me something. If you forgot it, it wasn't important.", I stated.  
  
"It's very important, Matt. I.. I… I think I'm in love with you."  
  
  
  
~End chapter two~  
  
  
  
  
  
Author's Note:  
  
What do you think? I know, this chapter is pretty short, but I don't have.  
  
Please review!!! I would be glad if you did it.  
  
How do you think Matt will react to Tai's statement? Write it to me!  
  
Triple P 


	3. Chapter three

~Saying something stupid~  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Thanks to all the reviewers! Love you! =^_^=  
  
And Kukuru: I didn't forget our story. We're going to write it. Promise. Du weißt, dass wir die Größen dann in Englisch schreiben müssen. Mir graust es jetzt schon!  
  
Greetings to every reviewer, to Kukuru and Jasi!  
  
On with the story.  
  
Warnings: starts to get YAOI in this chapter! But not too immense. =^_^=  
  
  
  
  
  
~Saying something stupid~  
  
~Matt's POV~  
  
Oh my god. Tai said it. My best friend on earth told me that he was in love with me. I didn't know what to say. I didn't expect that.  
  
The rain started to pour down my face, I could hear thunder. It was getting colder each minute I stood there in silence. I think I stood there for about ten minutes and looked in Tai's beautiful brown eyes. Yeah, they were really beautiful. They are really beautiful.  
  
I can tell that Tai was very confused. Hell, I would also have been confused if I told somebody that I love him and the guy would just have glared at me. Guy? What am I talking about? I did like girls, didn't I? My dad told me, that being gay would be wrong, dirty and negative. Everyone told me that the girls liked me, that I just needed to chose one and I would be happy my hole life. But was this really what I wanted? A girl? I thought about this the whole run before, too.  
  
"Matt?", I heard him say. Damn, I forgot totally about Tai. I still stared in his eyes but my mind was at my "problem".  
  
But as I saw the very wet (not what you guys think) and confused Tai, I burst out laughing.  
  
I laughed and laughed and laughed. And I didn't know why! That was weird.  
  
Tai looked totally shocked. I laughed more and then I saw the tears in his eyes. No, it wasn't rain. I saw the tears and I know, that I hurt him. I slapped myself mentally.  
  
Tai clenched his fists, turned around and started to run.  
  
"You are an asshole, Ishida Yamato!", he cried. Oh man. I really hurt him. Lucky that I was a fast runner. I went after him. Tai got more slowly with each step. It was raining heavily now and my clothes were soaked with the cool water.  
  
"Tai. Please, wait for me. Let me explain.", I shouted while my heart was beating fast.  
  
"I didn't want to hurt you and especially you feelings, Tai!"  
  
I couldn't run anymore. I had such a bad conscience. Tai was still running.  
  
"I love you, Yagami Taichi!", I shouted and suddenly Tai stopped. He turned on his heel and slowly walked over to me.  
  
"I'm sorry, Tai. I'm really sorry. I didn't meant to laugh." I started to cry and sunk to my knees. Man, I never cried. I think my conscience was worse as I thought. I cried a river, literally.  
  
"You said you love me?", Tai asked as he was standing in front of me. He stopped crying.  
  
"Yeah. I said that I love you.", I sobbed. I looked up at him and saw that Tai reached me a hand.  
  
"Stand up, Matt. It's wet and cold down there.", he said with a smirk on his lips.  
  
I took his hand and stood up. Damn, my pants were really wet and dirty.  
  
"I'm really sorry! I can't say how much actually!", I explained and Tai put a finger on my lips. He was a bit taller than me. Luckily we were alone in this alley. Hey, it was raining, you could here the thunder and it was really cold. No one would be outside. Would you?  
  
Okay, so Tai and I stood there. I still had his finger on my lips.  
  
"Matt?", he asked.  
  
"Yeah?", I asked back.  
  
"You really love me?" He looked very serious.  
  
"I… I think so.", I answered honestly. I was not really sure about my feeling yet.  
  
Tai took his finger away.  
  
I closed my eyes in expectation. I felt his hot breath on my nose and my lips. And then I felt his soft lips on mine. So this was it. My first kiss. Don't laugh at me because I had my first kiss at the age of seventeen. I didn't felt like to kiss somebody before. Really.  
  
The kiss was so… nice and charming. I could tell that Tai hold himself back. He wanted to kiss me fully. You know, with tongue…  
  
And then he could not longer hold himself back. His tongue was 'asking' for admission by licking my upper lip. I let his tongue in.  
  
Our tongues battled one time in his mouth, the other time in m mouth. I can't say how long this passionate kiss lasted. But I'm sure that we kissed for about four or five minutes.  
  
Then I broke the kiss. I needed air. I needed air urgently.  
  
After I caught my breath again, Tai embraced me.  
  
"How was it for you, Matt?", he asked curiously.  
  
"I didn't expect my first kiss so passionate. And I didn't expect it to be outside, you know.  
  
But it was… joyful. And delicious." I started to giggle. Tai started giggling to and gave me a quick kiss on my nose.  
  
"Ishida Yamato! What do you think you are doing there?", I heard someone say.  
  
"Dad?", I asked shocked.  
  
~End of chapter three~  
  
  
  
Author's Note:  
  
What do you think. I'm mean. So Matt's dad saw them. What is he going to do?  
  
Please review.  
  
I know, cliffhangers are bad… but really cool!!! =^_^=  
  
Triple P 


	4. Chapter 4

~Saying something stupid~  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
I think that some of you like my story! I'm feeling great! Got so much nice reviews! That's so sweet and nice from you! Thanks!  
  
I think this story's gonna become quite lemony… But not yet. In further chapters!  
  
And Kukuru… thanks! You know for what! At least I hope so! And sorry for getting on your nerves! I know I can get very annoying! Even David told me that! * feeling unloved *  
  
=^_^=  
  
Warnings: I'm in the mood to write a lemon… But I don't write one, just if anybody asks me!  
  
You don't have to worry. * g *  
  
On with the fourth chapter of the little ficcy…!  
  
  
  
~Saying something stupid~  
  
  
  
~Tai's POV~  
  
"Ishida Yamato! What do you think you are doing there?"  
  
"Dad?", I heard Yama ask.  
  
Oh shit! It was Matt's father. That was not fair. Why did somebody interrupt us by our first kiss? Man, I was so damn pissed although it was Matt's father who interrupted us.  
  
"Dad, it's not how it seems… I mean… I…" Matt didn't know what to say. I can tell you this.  
  
And I was confused! Why did Matt say 'it's not how it seems'? I thought he loved me.  
  
"Yamato, I just wanted to offer you a ride because it rains and what are you doing? You are kissing another boy!", Mr. Ishida shouted. Man, he was really pissed.  
  
And I didn't know why!  
  
"Dad. I…", Matt said. I looked into his eyes. I still stood next to him. I want to tell you exactly what I thought at that moment:  
  
'Wait, could it be that… No, it can't be. Didn't Matt's father know that Matt was… homosexual? Hell, was he homosexual anyway? I'm confused…'  
  
These were my thoughts.  
  
And now, I didn't know what to say. My new and first boyfriend stood there, his father was shouting at him and I didn't know what to do.  
  
"Hi, Mr. Ishida. How are you?", I asked; out of control. Man, me and my big mouth. Why did I always say something which I didn't want? Shit happens…  
  
"Yagami Taichi. What the hell did you do to my son?" Damn, Matt's dad was really annoyed.  
  
"Dad, it's not Tai's fault:", Matt said. He wanted to help me.  
  
"Couldn't you kiss him somewhere else? For example in our apartment? Damn Matt, it's raining. You could get a fever!"  
  
What? Now I was definitely confused! Matt's dad didn't want him to get a fever? And because of this he started shouting and asked us, why we kissed? I didn't understand this man.  
  
I didn't understand the whole family. And I thought my family was weird…  
  
"Dad. I don't know what to say. I… I mean.."  
  
"Don't say a thing. Now in the car. Tai, you too. I don't want two young men getting ill.", Matt's father ordered.  
  
We followed his instructions and climbed into Mr. Ishida's van.  
  
After a nearly ten minutes ride, we arrived at the Ishida residence. I knew this place quite well because I have been at Matt's nearly every weekend.  
  
"Now you two guys: Go and have fun.", Mr. Ishida said with a smirk on his lips.  
  
"Dad?", Matt asked while offering me a seat.  
  
"Yamato?`", his father asked back.  
  
"Can we be… alone?" I didn't expect this sentence coming from my boyfriend mouth. I mean, I wished, that his father would leave us alone, but I didn't wanted to say this out loud, you know.  
  
"Don't get impertinent, Matt. But it's okay. I've been young, too. I know what young people like to do when they're alone." At first, I thought Matt's dad spoke in riddles, but then I knew what he meant. Hell, Mr. Ishida was perverted.  
  
"Dad! You're the impertinent one now!", Matt said. He was so cute when he was getting red.  
  
"Okay boys. I'll leave you alone. I have to work now, anyways. Have fun, you two! See you tomorrow.", Matt's dad said to us and then he left the apartment.  
  
"Ma~at? Was this your dad? Or an alien?", I asked bluffed.  
  
"Tai, I have no clue. I really have no clue. But I think that he, because of his behaviour, is an alien!", Matt stated.  
  
"That was weird. I mean… hey, he's your dad. And I know, that your father is very strict.", I said.  
  
"My dad's not as strict as you think, Tai! But you're right. It was weird. He told me a few months ago that he hates homosexuals."  
  
"Matt, that's creepy."  
  
"I know, Tai. I know. I'm sure that he'll talk to me tomorrow. And that won't be nice. I know him." Matt sighed.  
  
"Yeah. But I don't see, why your would dad 'have fun' when he really is against gay people."  
  
"I know what you mean. But as I said, I will get a nice talk tomorrow. But right now, he's not at home.", Matt said promising.  
  
"And he said that we should enjoy ourselves.", I added. Luckily, we both said on the couch, so I could kiss Yama without bigger contortions. Man, I just loved this handsome boy. I still do!  
  
We shared one passionate kiss after the other. It was so nice and sensual. His soft lips, his soft blonde hair.  
  
I thought we kissed for about one hour or so. Okay, plus the brakes. But hey, it was still a long time.  
  
"Matt? Can I kiss you once again?", I asked as Matt was laying in my lap.  
  
"Sure thing Tai. But you have to promise me something at first.", Matt responded.  
  
"And that would be?", I asked curiously.  
  
"You have to promise that wouldn't ask me anymore if you could kiss me. That's annoying."  
  
"I would do anything for you, Matt.", I answered and took Matt into a sitting position. A sitting position was better for kissing. I knew this from personal experience. I didn't have a real boyfriend before Matt but this doesn't mean that I never kissed before.  
  
I took Yama's chin into my hand and covered his lips with mine.  
  
Matt responded to the kiss. Our tongued twirled and the kiss became more heated, more passionate.  
  
I pressed Matt with my body to the floor and I laid there between his legs. Our kiss just became more intense and I didn't want to end it but I had to ask Matt a, for me, very important question.  
  
"Tai, why did you stop?", Matt asked confused.  
  
"Matt, do you want to sleep with me?", I asked directly.  
  
  
  
~End of chapter four~  
  
  
  
Author's Note:  
  
So tai asked Matt if he wants to sleep with him.  
  
What do you think? Is Matt going to sleep with Taichi, or isn't he?  
  
I know, this chapter was full of kissing. It's my fault because I got withdrawal symptoms because I can't kiss my boyfriend as much as I want to. So Matt and Tai gotta do it. At least they have some fun. * sigh *  
  
Don't forget to review. It's important because if I get nice reviews, Kukuru (go and check out her fics by the way) and I gonna write a nice Taito…  
  
Triple P 


	5. Chapter 5

~Saying something stupid~  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Hi, I'm here again!  
  
Here's a new chapter from this weird story. But you guys really seem to like it!  
  
I'm listening to Lifehouse at the moment. Great band! Luckily you don't here me sing. * g *  
  
I'm German so please excuse all my faults!!!  
  
  
  
WARNING: maybe NC-17 stuff in this chapter!!!! Just read it if you can handle it. Otherwise wait for the next chapter because I'm gonna write what happened in this one. But not as detailed as in this chapter…  
  
On with chapter 5  
  
I can't promise that this story is going to turn out "nice".  
  
Please read and review!  
  
  
  
~Saying something stupid~  
  
  
  
~Matt's POV~  
  
"Do you want to sleep with me?", Tai asked.  
  
He asked me what? I couldn't believe it. I was stunned for several moments.  
  
"Matt? Did I say something wrong?", Tai asked me worriedly.  
  
Oh Tai, if you knew it sooner.  
  
"In some way, yes.", I responded. I was afraid. Very afraid. Not of him, actually. I was afraid of the whole situation. I remembered everything clearly now…  
  
"But Matt… it was just a normal question. Okay, not normal nut I don't know what was so wrong about it." Man, he was very confused. I thought I had to explain everything to him. This was going to be embarrassing.  
  
"A normal question? A normal question would have been: Matt, how are you? But it's okay. You couldn't have known this." You have to know that such questions make me angry. Really angry. But he really couldn't have known this. I had to tell him. I just had to.  
  
"Matt, what's bothering you? You can tell me if you wanna.", Tai offered.  
  
I took a deep breath and went with my right hand through my long blond hair.  
  
I had to find a good start.  
  
"Tai, life's not as easy as some people think it is. Life can be fun but it doesn't have to. Can you follow me?" Tai nodded. I went on.  
  
"I mean it's nice from you that you asked me. But first, it's to early. And second…" I had to sigh, "I've been sexually abused by my father's brother."  
  
Tai was shocked. His normally smiling eyes showed fear, rage and unsureness. I could tell that he didn't know what he could say.  
  
"Matt, I'm sorry. I didn't know. I didn't want to offend you. You have to believe me." Tai was on the brink of tears.  
  
"It's okay, Tai. And I know you long enough to believe you.", I gulped.  
  
"But… why didn't you tell me about it. I… I mean… when did it happen?" One could guess that Tai was curious but I knew it better. He really cared for me. And if we wanted an intact relationship I had to trust him fully and tell him about my fears and sorrows.  
  
I broke into tears. It was too much for me. I sobbed and cried uncontrollably.  
  
Tai put his arms around me and tried to comfort me in every possible way. I was so lucky to had a so understanding boyfriend. Every other guy wouldn't want me anymore after I'd tell them I had been sexually abused by my uncle.  
  
Okay, Tai could have broke up our relationship after he comforted me but I was sure that he wouldn't do this.  
  
"Matt, everything's okay. I'm here. You can tell me everything if you want to. I'm your boyfriend. And I won't leave you. Promise."  
  
Could he read my mind or what? After he told me that he wouldn't break up with me, I could tell him everything with a clear conscience.  
  
"Okay. I trust you. But you have to promise that you won't tell anyone. Can I trust you, Yagami Taichi?", I asked him.  
  
He kissed my now wet right cheek and told me that he would keep this secret. I stopped sobbing and now started really.  
  
"I've been fourteen years old as it started. It was shortly after we visited the digital world the last time. I had to sleep at his' for two weeks 'cause my father had to go to Canada 'cause of his work. You know this already. I mean, that I've been at my uncle's apartment for this time." I made a pause. I can tell you that I shivered. Tai recognised this and embraced me harder. I took another deep breath and went straight on.  
  
"The first three days everything went well. We played guitar and he even showed me how to play drums. I thought that this was quite cool. We talked about the things we did in the past months. I hadn't seen him for about half a year. And now I think that I better shouldn't have seen him this two weeks. But who would have known what'll happen? Anyways, these three days were cool if you can say this. Then it started. I've been sleeping on the sofa in the living room. That was no problem for me. I can sleep everywhere. But that's not the thing that interests you, is it? Okay. So I slept there and suddenly I heard footsteps from which I woke up. I just thought that he was gonna go to the toilet. I didn't expect anything else. So I turned over and tried to sleep again. And then I felt his hands on my butt. I was so scared. I mean, I've been fourteen years old, he was thirty- five. Who was obviously stronger? See. It was so disgusting and humiliating. I closed my eyes and wished it would be over soon. But my wishes weren't goin' to be granted. His hands wandered over my whole body. It made me sick. Really sick. He turned me on my backside and licked at my nipples, his hands were at my sex organ. He wanted to make me come by pumping me. Luckily he didn't manage it. On the other hand he insisted that somebody had to come and so he forced me to... suck him. I did as I was told. I didn't want him to hurt me. He came after a few minutes. But even this wasn't enough for him. He took my pants off and then raped me. It hurt so much, Tai. You can't imagine such an awful pain. And this has happened every following evening. And now I don't want sex. Can you understand me?" I started to cry again. All these drove out memories came floating back in my mind.  
  
Tai comforted me. I felt so safe in his arms. I knew that he wasn't goin' to let such a terrible thing happen to me again. I was pretty sure of it.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me earlier?", Tai asked me.  
  
"It was humiliating and embarrassing. Dad told me not to tell anyone. Just mom, dad, TK and you know about this. And I'm glad that only you know this. It's not so easy to deal with it, you know.", I explained.  
  
"Okay. I understand you. But it's good that you told me 'bout it. I love you!", Tai said while holding me in his strong arms.  
  
"You really still love me?" I was afraid of his answer.  
  
"Sure thing, little one. I still love you. I love you for about six years, I love you now and I will love you always. Believe me." Tai meant this honestly. I was pretty sure of it. He never lied when it came to such important things.  
  
"Thanks, Tai. Love you, too!"  
  
I went through my hair the whole time. That calmed me down. It still does today. Mommy did this when I was younger. And now Tai does it.  
  
It was so comfortable that I fell into sleep shortly after that.  
  
  
  
~End of chapter 5~  
  
  
  
Author's Note:  
  
Ohh, poor Yama-chan! Now Tai knows his secret. But will he really keep it?  
  
Try to write the sixth chapter ASAP. What do you think.  
  
Please, don't sue me. Something similar happened to me as I was a little child.  
  
No one raped me but it still was a very weird experience.  
  
Please review.  
  
Triple P 


	6. Chapter 6

~Saying some stupid~  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Sorry that I didn't post this chapter sooner but I had to do a lotta stuff for school! Don't be mad at me 'cause of that…  
  
I've got nothing to say this time but please review.  
  
I'm listening to Britney Spears at the moment. Don't know why, just felt like it!  
  
THX to all the reviewers, especially to Kukuru-chan, my muse.  
  
Warnings: none this time. Just some stuff from Yama's past…  
  
  
  
~Saying something stupid~  
  
~Tai's POV~  
  
I couldn't believe it. Matt's uncle raped him. And like the idiot I am, I asked him if he wants to sleep with me.  
  
Man, I'm so silly.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Matt.", I whispered, trying to let Matt sleep.  
  
He looked like an angel when he was asleep. His nice blonde hair, beautiful mouth. The only disadvantage was that his amazing eyes were closed while he was sleeping.  
  
I traced my fingers down his cheeks. They felt like a… peach. Don't laugh. It really felt like this. So smooth and soft. I felt like I would be in heaven.  
  
Suddenly I heard the person who laid in my lap cough. Matt was awake.  
  
"Hey Tai!"  
  
"Hi Matt! Did you sleep well?", I asked worriedly.  
  
"Sort of. Actually, yes.", the blonde angel said while smiling up at me.  
  
Luckily he slept well, without nightmares. At least I hope so. I didn't know if he have had nightmares. He didn't seem like he have had some.  
  
"Tai, how long did we stay in this position?", Matt asked, his brilliant blue eyes sparkling.  
  
"For about five or six hours. Now we've got eight in the morning:", I said and had to yawn.  
  
"Damn, Tai! Why the hell didn't you wake me up? This position wasn't quite comfortable for you!", Yama stated while getting up from his lying pose. He looked so sweet when he was annoyed.  
  
"I didn't wake you, 'cause you needed to rest and you had to look nice fore me as well."  
  
Matt blushed with a start. I found this quite fascinating and interesting. It's still an open question for me how people can blush so fast and so easily. A miracle so to speak…  
  
"Thanks Tai. I love you, too.", Matt said ironically and crossed his arms in front of his chest while sitting cross-legged on the floor.  
  
"I know already that you love me.", I 'answered'. I crawled over to him. And then, without a warning, I tackled him from behind and began to tickle him.  
  
My boyfriend laughed so loud, I thought he was going to die any moment.  
  
"Mercy, mercy,", Matt half shouted, half laughed. He indeed laughed so hard, you could see the tears in his eyes.  
  
"Okay, I'll stop.", I said, laughing myself, and stopped tickling him. Instead, I wrapped my arms around his body and hold him very tight.  
  
It was amazing how fast his mood could change. One day before, he told me about the thing his uncle had done to him, and this day, he was laughing, smiling and stuff like that.  
  
I really didn't understand.  
  
I mean, I know him since we were eleven years old. Matt always mimed this cool, tough, strong and cold guy. Just a few people knew that this was just a masque, a fasade. He really was a charming, vulnerable and caring person. Until… you know what happened.  
  
No one recognised that Matt changed a bit. He had his moods, naturally. But everyone has moods, you know? It was very difficult for him. He didn't know how to behave.  
  
The incident that has happened to him totally knocked him sideways. I didn't think that he really got over it but he tried his best. And therefore I looked up to him. I really admired him in every way possible.  
  
"Tai? What are you thinking?" Matt's question totally caught me off guard. I didn't expect a question from him. I've been in my own world for about a few minutes. I really forgot about the fact that Matt was still there or that I've been at Matt's.  
  
"Nothing. Thought 'bout nothing.". I tried to avoid a concrete answer to Matt's question.  
  
" If you say so.", sighed Matt and leaned in my embrace.  
  
Why couldn't we freeze the time?  
  
It had been so comfortable with him lying in my arms, his clothed body against mine, his warm hands on my own.  
  
"Tai? Can I ask you a question?", Matt asked. I think that his eyes were closed. Like mine.  
  
"You just asked one, little one.", I answered.  
  
"At first, I'm not little. Just because you're a bit taller, I'm not little. You're so funny today, I think you had a clown for breakfast." I had to smirk.  
  
"Okay. I admit. His name was Charlie, but now, ask your question."  
  
"'Kay.", Matt gulped. "You really won't leave me, will you?" Not again this question. He already knew my answer to this question.  
  
"Of course I won't leave you, Ishida Yamato. Are you so afraid of the possibility that I could leave you just because of the incident?", I asked after I answered his question.  
  
Matt only nodded.  
  
"Okay, I'll tell you for the hundredth time. I'm not going to leave you! Understand! I love you. Everything of you, your character, your eyes, your hands, even the stuff that's in your  
  
belly-button."  
  
Matt's eyes started to sparkle again and he smiled up at me. I caught his mouth in a passionate kiss. It was wonderful.  
  
Suddenly the door burst open and his father stormed in. We weren't fast enough to get away from each other. Matt's father had seen our kiss.  
  
He looked very unhappy, very angry.  
  
I could feel Matt began to tremble in my arms.  
  
This wasn't going to turn out well, was it?  
  
  
  
~End of the sixth chapter~  
  
  
  
Author's Note:  
  
Sorry for leaving you hanging like this but I need reviews badly. So please review.  
  
Shall I continue anyways?  
  
The next chapter is going to turn out longer. At least I hope so… ^_^  
  
Triple P 


	7. Chapter 7

~Saying something stupid~  
  
  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Hi there! Oh, I think these two words are my favourites now! But this doesn't interest you, I think.  
  
In this chapter you'll get to know why this fic is called ~Saying something stupid~  
  
No warnings this time…  
  
I'm German, so excuse my grammar and everything.  
  
Oh, I don't now anything 'bout the Japanese school system. Please excuse. I write it like I think it could be useful for the story.  
  
On with the show!  
  
  
  
~Saying something stupid~  
  
~Matt's POV~  
  
I really was trembling. I didn't like the look on my father's face.  
  
I thought he was starting to turn into a monster any moment.  
  
"Dad. I…I…", I stuttered. I won't forget the look on my father's face ever. He indeed looked angry.  
  
"Boys, you are late for school!", he simply and agitatedly said.  
  
This was all? I mean, I expected something like: Hey, Matt. I'm going to kill you if I see this one more time…  
  
But instead he simply said: Boys, you are late for school.  
  
I couldn't believe it.  
  
I looked over at Tai and he was as stunned as I was. I could tell that he was really surprised that my father this sentence.  
  
"Boys, change your clothes quickly and then I offer you a ride."  
  
My father turned around and left the room.  
  
I sighed and went into the bathroom.  
  
"Ahm, Matt? Can you borrow me some clothes until tomorrow?"  
  
"Sure thing, Tai. You now where the clothes are. I'm going to wash your clothes this afternoon.", I shouted while I was standing in the bathroom with my toothbrush in my mouth.  
  
I think it was hard for Tai to understand me. But I didn't care at the moment. We were late, really late and I had to change my clothes after I had brushed my teeth.  
  
So I got out of the bathroom in which Tai went then and changed my clothes.  
  
"Boys, we have to go now.", my dad shouted from the living room.  
  
"We're on the way.", I shouted back.  
  
Tai got out of the bathroom and so dad, Tai and I got into the car and dad took us to school.  
  
On the school yard, Tai and I saw all our friends, including my little brother TK and his little sister Hikari.  
  
TK and Hikari were a couple. They looked so sweet together. Both were fourteen years old and have always been best friends. Sometimes I thought that they were siblings, you know.  
  
However, Tai's first lesson has been mathematics, while mine was History.  
  
I loved this class. I don't now why, but it was very easy for my to remember dates and facts. So history was beside music my best class.  
  
It was so long till lunch. I had to think of Tai all the time.  
  
And I think he did the same.  
  
The net lesson I had was auto mechanics. It was cool. I loved to work with cars although I was too young to drive.  
  
The next to lessons I had were English and Mathematics.  
  
It was quite boring, 'cause I wanted to see Tai so badly.  
  
And then, we had lunch.  
  
Lunch was always very interesting because Tai, TK, Hikari, Mimi, Izzy, Joey, the others and me shared a table.  
  
Then we talked about music, the teachers, new couples at our school and stuff like that.  
  
But this day, lunch wasn't as cool as usual.  
  
I try to tell you everything that has happened.  
  
I went to the lunchroom and went into the direction of our table where Tai and the others were already sitting.  
  
"Hey Matt.", they all said shortly after another.  
  
I greeted them and took a seat next to Tai.  
  
"Hey Matt, nice to see you.", I heard him say. I looked into his sparkling eyes. He was such an sweet boy. So charming, so athletic.  
  
We sit there for about thirty minutes before the incident happened.  
  
While the others discussed the new student in our music class, Tai took the opportunity and kissed my cheek while his hands were on my knees.  
  
"Tai, leave it.", I whispered. I didn't want the others to recognise. I didn't know how the others were going to react to the fact that Tai and I were a gay couple.  
  
"Why?", Tai asked and his left hand was wandering under my shirt, resting on my belly.  
  
Luckily the others were deepened in their discussion.  
  
"I won't say it again, Tai. Stop it." I said this a little bit louder than the sentence before.  
  
Tai hands left my body. He looked upset.  
  
"Why won't you let me touch you in public?", Tai asked out loud.  
  
Our friends noticed that question and so their faces turned to us. I could tell you that I blushed.  
  
"Tai, calm down. I don't want this. I don't want the others to know yet.", I said, getting afraid because I saw the rage in Tai coming up.  
  
Tai got up from his seat and shouted through the whole room:  
  
"I know , why you won't let me touch you!"  
  
Now I really was getting afraid.  
  
"You won't let me touch you, because your uncle raped you!"  
  
~End of chapter seven~  
  
  
  
Author's Note:  
  
Oh, mean Tai! Shall I continue???  
  
Triple P 


	8. Chapter 8

~Saying something stupid~  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Thanks to all the reviewers!!!  
  
Oh man, mean Tai! How could he do this???  
  
Anyways, I needed him to react like a complete idiot (sorry all Tai-Lovers out there!) 'cause of the plot!  
  
I'm German, so please be kind! ^_^  
  
Digimon does belong to me, the story not…  
  
Wait, something got twisted in the last sentence…  
  
And Kukuru, I didn't forget our story, but I don't have any ideas. We shall discuss it Tuesday in Cologne.  
  
Have fun!  
  
  
  
~Saying something stupid~  
  
~Tai's POV~  
  
"You won't let me touch you, because your uncle raped you.", I shouted out loud.  
  
I will never forget the look on Matt's face.  
  
I could tell that he wanted to kill me. I couldn't take Matt's reaction amiss. I acted like a complete idiot. I have to admit this.  
  
Afterwards, I felt really guilty, but at this moment I had to vent my anger.  
  
TK glanced at me like he would kill me, too.  
  
The kids in the lunchroom began to whisper and a few tears came flowing down Matt's face.  
  
No one knew that Matt has been raped except his family and me.  
  
And so it was a real 'surprise' for everyone. No one noticed that he acted strangely in the past two or three years.  
  
And now the whole school knew.  
  
I would have beaten the crap out of me if I could.  
  
"I thought I could trust you.", I heard Matt whisper next to me. He stood up and slapped me. Very hard.  
  
"Matt, I didn't want this, believe me. I was angry…", I tried to apologize.  
  
"I really thought I could trust you. But I guess I was wrong. I hate you, you f***ing asshole.", Matt said quietly. He didn't want the whole room to hear.  
  
And then, the blonde boy stormed out of the room.  
  
TK glanced at me and shouted after his brother.  
  
"Matt! Wait!"  
  
"I think you said something stupid.", Izzy told me and everyone got up from their seats while I was standing there, stunned.  
  
I really said something stupid.  
  
  
  
~Matt's POV~  
  
I couldn't believe he shouted it. I thought I could trust him. I told him my secret and he shouted it out.  
  
I hated him. I really hated him.  
  
Now the whole school knew it and I didn't know how to behave.  
  
Should I act like nothing ever happened or should I speak about it with my friends?  
  
I couldn't decide.  
  
While I was running out the lunchroom, some boys shouted something after me. I think It was something like 'Hey, little fag! Wanna sleep with me today?' or 'I like it hard and fast, like your rapist probably did.'  
  
And that hurt. It hurt pretty much. More tears came flowing down my face.  
  
It was still unbelievable for me that Tai betrayed me.  
  
"Matt! Wait!", TK, who followed me, shouted.  
  
I didn't want to stop. I was afraid. Not afraid of TK, of course. Afraid of the option that he could bring me back into the lunchroom, to Tai.  
  
So I decided to run out of our school building.  
  
"Stop, Matt!", TK shouted again as he saw that I was crossing the much frequented road in front of our school.  
  
I gave a damn about TK right then and there. I just wanted to go away. I couldn't see anything because of my tears so I didn't see the car coming.  
  
"No, Matt!", TK cried out as the car hit me.  
  
The last thing I remembered before everything went black was, that TK was hovering over me.  
  
  
  
~End of chapter 8~  
  
  
  
Author's Note:  
  
A short one.  
  
Shall I continue? I just continue if I have more than 37 reviews. So, be kind and review!!!!!!  
  
Triple P 


	9. Chapter 9

~Saying something stupid~  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Thanks to yamatoforever, Kukuru, Fireflie's Light, Thorin Oakensheild Yagami, sumgirl, Angel, Diablo, Sophie V, Kukuru, sumgirl, Drakin Tenryu, ThatGirl, Firefly's Light, Kukuru, yamatoforever, Yamato795 (I adore you, really!!!), Nameless, ThatGirl, Sapphire Goddess, Sophie V, Fordina, yamatoforever, ThatGirl, TG (I want to read a story from you!!!!), fanficfanatic, Kukuru, TK, celipa, Kit I own a taito Groop on AOL (you wrote it like this), a nameless thing, carine, ThatGirl, abc, Goku, Jenna, CSMars and liliangemon2433.  
  
Man, did you notice that some of you reviewed pretty often?! Go on!!!! ^_^  
  
Kukuru, remember our funny trip to Kolonia? With the man with the weird laugh? My heart was beating so fast, man, I thought I'd die.  
  
Ahh, poor Yama. I don't know why I can be so cruel.  
  
Now, on with Tai's POV  
  
  
  
  
  
~Saying something stupid~  
  
~Tai's POV~  
  
Man, I hated myself. What an idiot! I can't believe it. I broke my promise, I betrayed him.  
  
Why the hell did I do this?  
  
Okay, I have been angry. Really angry. But that was no excuse.  
  
I went through the lunchroom and I could feel the glances of the other students.  
  
They were angry with me.  
  
But who could take their behaviour amiss? Me not.  
  
I have been the one who shouted that terrible sentence through the room after all. I have been the one who broke the promise. I have been the one who betrayed my friend. My boyfriend. So I had no right to be angry with the other youths like they had to be angry with me.  
  
They weren't the ones who betrayed their friend.  
  
It was me.  
  
Oh, sorry I say this so often, but it's not easy for me to confess my guilt.  
  
Man, how could I say such an important thing in public? How could I?  
  
Especially shortly after I confessed my love to him?!  
  
I could remember the day like it has been the day before.  
  
I have been at the park with him. We wanted to play basketball. And then I have told him that I was in love with him. It was raining and at first he has not been sure if he loved me back. But then, we shared our first kiss.  
  
Hmmm.  
  
Oh, it was the day before. Man, how stupid I am. No wonder no one liked me after this incident in the lunchroom.  
  
No one spoke to me, they just glanced. Some guys whispered, other ones laughed at me.  
  
It was a terrible and unalterable feeling. I felt sick in my stomach.  
  
I only have myself to blame for this.  
  
Suddenly somebody patted me on the back. I have no idea who it was, till I heard his voice.  
  
"Yagami! Shall I tell you something?"  
  
I turned around.  
  
It was Haruhiko, one of Matt's band members. He was as tall as me, had short brown hair and green eyes.  
  
I didn't do anything. I didn't know what to say or do.  
  
"You're a complete idiot. How could you say something so terrible out loud?"  
  
I didn't understand.  
  
Did Haruhiko know about Matt's past? I mean, he said that I was a complete idiot 'cause I didn't keep the secret.  
  
"You knew this?", I asked bluntly.  
  
He looked stunned. By the look in his face I was sure that he didn't know about this till I said it.  
  
"Earth to Tai, earth to Tai. I didn't know it. But you shouted it out. The whole school knows it now. Matt didn't look happy after you said this. You broke a promise, didn't you?", Haruhiko asked me, arms crossed in front of his chest.  
  
"Bravo, Sherlock. I know by now that I'm a complete idiot. Leave me alone.", I said and went in the direction from which I had come.  
  
Suddenly, Haruhiko grabbed my shoulder, turned me around and punched me on my nose.  
  
This punch sent me backwards and I landed on my butt 'cause he lost his grip on my shoulder.  
  
I hold my bleeding nose and some students now stood around us two.  
  
I think that I deserved this. Matt always punched me if I said something wrong. And now, with Matt not available, Haruhiko punched me.  
  
Wait, where was Matt anyway?  
  
I looked frantically around after I stood up.  
  
"What's wrong, Yagami? Are you afraid of me?", Haruhiko asked. With a smirk on his lips.  
  
Some girls cheered as he said this and I was worried about Matt.  
  
I mean, I loved him. I had to worry.  
  
"Shut up, Haruhiko. I'm looking for Matt.", I shouted and looked over the heads of some people. Luckily I have been so tall.  
  
"After all you did to him today you're looking for him?", Haruhiko asked, his eyes dark.  
  
"Yes, 'cause I care for him. I regret my mistake and I hope he can forgive me somewhen."  
  
A single tear was rolling down my cheek and then I heard an ambulance.  
  
My heart sank into my boots.  
  
"Oh no, the street!", I shouted and cleared the way for me.  
  
How could I forget the streets? Matt surely ran out and crossed these stupid street. And it was all my fault.  
  
I ran outside the building where I saw Sora and Izzy in the midst of some pupils.  
  
"What happened?", I asked out of breath.  
  
Both glanced at me. Sora was on the brink of tears and Izzy didn't seem happy.  
  
My heart sank further.  
  
"Matt…", Sora whined and sank to her knees.  
  
No, this could not be true.  
  
Then I saw TK standing next to the ambulance. I left Sora and Izzy alone.  
  
I walked over to Matt's younger brother.  
  
"TK. What… what happened?", I asked, afraid of his reaction.  
  
The engine of the ambulance started. It drove towards the hospital.  
  
TK waited for the ambulance being out of sight before he informed me.  
  
"Matt got hit by a car. It doesn't look so good. Tai, he probably dies.", he said in a monotone voice.  
  
These words have been a shock for me. 'He probably dies.'  
  
"Oh my god. TK, I'm sorry. I didn't meant to…", I tried to apologize.  
  
TK just shot a look at me. His eyes were red from crying.  
  
Then, without warning, he slapped me.  
  
"Think I deserved this for my stupidity, huh?", I stated.  
  
"Tai, I don't have to forgive you. Matt has to. So pray for seeing him alive again.", TK said before he went away.  
  
That left me standing there, surrounded by a lotta guys.  
  
"What have I done?" I asked myself and sank to my knees, crying.  
  
"Yagami Taichi, what have you done?", I asked and cried my eyes out.  
  
  
  
~End of chapter 9~  
  
Author's Note:  
  
Okay, another chapter.  
  
It was not too good. In fact, it was stupid. But I promise that the next chapter will be better!  
  
Don't be mad at me.  
  
Please review.  
  
=^_^=  
  
Oh, I just write further if I have more than 45 reviews. 


	10. Chapter 10

~Saying something stupid~  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Thanks for the 45th review, ASHERBOB! This urges me to continue! ^_^  
  
And also thanks to the other reviewers!  
  
I appreciate that!  
  
Okay, I can't kill Matt, can I? I won't kill this super cute guy.  
  
He just has to suffer.  
  
Man, I'm evil! And cruel! And cute…  
  
Oh, I think this is going to o far.  
  
Anyways, on with the fic!  
  
  
  
~Saying something stupid~  
  
~Matt's POV~  
  
Where am I? It's so dark and I'm cold.  
  
What happened?  
  
I tried to move my arms, my legs but it was in vain.  
  
I couldn't move.  
  
I couldn't remember anything!  
  
It was like I have been in a bad movie or something.  
  
I felt so helpless, so alone.  
  
Suddenly I heard voices. I wasn't alone.  
  
I couldn't make out what the persons were saying. I just heard them.  
  
And that made me afraid. Why couldn't I understand them?  
  
I couldn't remember.  
  
I just felt a very sharp pain. I didn't understand why I felt this sharp pain. I mean, I couldn't move? And how can I feel pain if I can't move?  
  
Another thing was that I couldn't make out where it hurt.  
  
I felt this sharp pain, sure. But where did it hurt?  
  
Those voices were driving me crazy!  
  
No real words or sentences. Jut weird sounds.  
  
If this was heaven, I didn't want to know what hell is like.  
  
Suddenly a short film was running in front of my inner eye. (AN: If I can say this so…)  
  
I saw a blonde boy running across a street. He was crying. He had long blond hair. As this boy was five feet away from the kerb, a car hit him.  
  
And this was the short film.  
  
Who was this boy? Why did I see this film?  
  
Suddenly it hit me.  
  
This blonde was me! I was this boy who had been hit by the car.  
  
Damn.  
  
All memories came floating back.  
  
The good ones as well as the bad ones.  
  
Tai kissed me in the rain…  
  
Tai asked me if I wanted to sleep with him…  
  
I told him about my uncle…  
  
I was crying…  
  
Tai was comforting me…  
  
We were in school…  
  
He shouted this secret out…  
  
I ran out of the building…  
  
Some guys called ma a fag…  
  
The car hit me…  
  
These memories just have been scraps but these scraps were enough to understand why the car hit me.  
  
Think Matt, think…  
  
Where are you?  
  
Could it be that I was in the hospital?  
  
Sure thing. Where else could I be?  
  
Man, I felt horrible.  
  
But I thought that I was getting better and better every minute.  
  
I didn't know why but it was like this.  
  
Suddenly I could open my eyes.  
  
The bright light hit my eyes and I had to close them because of this.  
  
"Matt, Matt? Can you hear me?"  
  
I heard a person say this. The best thing was that I could understand what this person asked me.  
  
I tried to answer the question but my lungs hurt.  
  
I opened my mouth, sure, but no words came out.  
  
"He's awake."  
  
Another person.  
  
Were these doctors, or what?  
  
"Son, can you hear me?", a very masculine voice asked.  
  
I opened my eyes. New try, new luck, I thought.  
  
The light wasn't as bright as before.  
  
Maybe the persons dimmed it a bit or something.  
  
"Daddy?", I asked. My voice was kinda lost.  
  
"Oh Matt. We thought we'd lost you!", my dad said and put his arms around me.  
  
I hissed. My back hurt.  
  
"Oh, sorry.", my dad excused himself and sat down on a chair next to my white bed.  
  
"How are you, Matt?"  
  
"Mom?"  
  
I couldn't believe it. My mom was there, too.  
  
"Yeah. I'm here."  
  
She took my left hand in her hands. She was sitting on the left side of my bed.  
  
"Thanks to God that you're alive!", my father said and I could see small tears flowing down his cheeks.  
  
I could tell that he and mom have cried before. Their eyes were red from it and they had dark circles under their eyes.  
  
How long have I been unconscious?  
  
I mean, if they had dark circles under their eyes, they didn't sleep.  
  
"How long..?" I had to cough. I could taste blood.  
  
"Have you been unconscious? That's the question you wanted to ask, isn't it?", my dad asked and looked worried. Like mom.  
  
I nodded my head.  
  
"For about two days. That car got you very bad.", my mom said.  
  
Oh man. I felt guilty. They suffered because of me.  
  
"Matt, Takeru said me that you ran cross that street 'cause Tai said something."  
  
Damn, why did TK tell them?  
  
I nodded my head and expected a lecture like 'Matt, why did you tell him about my brother?', 'Matt, why are you gay?' and stuff.  
  
"I have to go now. Have got a meeting with my boss.", my mom said suddenly.  
  
She gave me a kiss on my bandaged forehead.  
  
Then she left the room.  
  
"Matt, I know that Tai hurt your feelings. That was indeed very stupid. But I know that you love him. So, forgive him."  
  
"Did Tai ask you to tell me that?", I asked.  
  
I hated it when people tried to force me to do something.  
  
"No, he didn't. But I know that you love him."  
  
"That's not the point. But he broke a promise. I can't understand why you defend him."  
  
"I don't defend him but I know that you love him. And I think that no one will punish you 'cause you aren't straight.", my father said.  
  
I couldn't understand why he was so positive.  
  
I mean, he told me not to tell anyone that his brother, my uncle, raped me.  
  
"Daddy. You don't know what these students called me! They said that I like it hard and stuff. You know how much that hurts?", I said on the brink of tears.  
  
My father looked shocked.  
  
"I didn't know that they called you that. Don't hear it. These are stupid human beings."  
  
"You say this so easily. You weren't there.", I said. A few tears came pouring outta my eyes.  
  
"I haven't been there, sure."  
  
"See. You don't know how negative the people are. I can't forgive Tai. Not now, never!"  
  
My father looked hurt.  
  
I knew that he liked Tai. He wanted me to be happy.  
  
And so he said that I should forgive him.  
  
But my heart broke into thousand pieces when Tai said it.  
  
Normally I don't bear grudges but this time it was too much.  
  
Tai really hurt my feelings.  
  
I didn't know why my father could forgive him.  
  
I really didn't understand.  
  
Then somebody knocked on the door.  
  
My voice was lost once more, so my father answered.  
  
"Come in, the door's open."  
  
The white piece of plastic opened and I saw a brunette young man enter the room.  
  
Tai.  
  
I gasped.  
  
  
  
~End of chapter ten~  
  
  
  
Author's Note:  
  
Another cliffhanger…  
  
I know that this chapter is very weird but I didn't know how to go on.  
  
The next chapter is hopefully going to be better.  
  
Please review.  
  
I just continue if I get more than 5 reviews.  
  
So, please review 'cause I WANT to continue… 


	11. Chapter 11

~Saying something stupid~  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Hi there!  
  
Thanks for all the reviews. They really help me to continue!  
  
I'm pretty sorry that I didn't come up with this chapter sooner. I had to do so much for school. I know, it's a lame excuse but I got an A in my math- test! I'm proud!  
  
You should no by now that Digimon does belong to Kukuru…  
  
Wait, no. It doesn't belong to her. She just wishes it would.  
  
Special thanks to ASHERBOB 'cause because of the reviews I have to continue.  
  
And special thanks to bitchylemonaddict 'cause I'm on her favourites list! ^_^  
  
On with the 11th chapter!  
  
  
  
~Saying something stupid~  
  
~Tai's POV~  
  
So I was standing in Matt's room. I took me long to decide if I better stay outside or go in.  
  
I didn't know how the blonde would react.  
  
He had two options. Either he would not want to see me or he would be happy to see me.  
  
I think that he would choose the first one. I mean, I would have chosen this, too if my so-called boyfriend betrayed me like I did.  
  
On the one hand I would have been happy if he would threw me out the room, but on the other hand I would be glad if I had the opportunity to make things clear.  
  
I could tell by the look in his eyes that he wasn't happy.  
  
He really wasn't happy.  
  
His father was sitting next to him.  
  
I'm not sure what his father thought the moment I came into the room. I couldn't read minds and the look Mr Ishida gave me told me nothing.  
  
And this was worse as if he had shot me a glance that would have sent shivers down my spine.  
  
At that moment I didn't feel like a human being, I felt like I was nothing, a nobody.  
  
A human being can stand if he knows that some people like him or even hate him. But a human being can not stand other peoples' indifference towards him.  
  
As I said, I was standing in this big white room where the love on my life was laying. He was looking really pale and he had dark circles under his eyes.  
  
He nearly would have died. And all because of me. Man, you can't know how much I hated myself.  
  
"I think I better go now.", Matt's father said and tried to stand up. But then, Matt held his sleeve as tight as he could.  
  
"Daddy, don't go now. I… I need you!", Matt said, eyeing me all the time.  
  
"Matt, you have to go through it alone. I can't help you."  
  
His father gave him a quick peck on the forehead.  
  
After that he left the room, not shooting me a glance. I think I deserved it.  
  
As his father was out the room, I went nearer to Yama's bed.  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
Matt sounded afraid. Was he afraid of me?  
  
"I…", my voice was lost. I didn't know what to say. What if I said something wrong again?  
  
Matt glared at me, holding the white blanket as near to his body as he could.  
  
"If you don't have to say anything, go out.", Matt said as cold as ice. I couldn't be mad at him because of this.  
  
I felt so guilty when I saw him laying there. He looked like an angel.  
  
I couldn't believe I lost such a wonderful and beautiful creature.  
  
"Uh… Matt, I wanted to…", I gulped, "say you that I'm sorry because of what happened. I didn't want this. You have to believe me!"  
  
Matt listened to me without interrupting me. I was glad because of this because if he had interrupted me, I wouldn't have known how to say that I'm sorry. Stupid, isn't it?  
  
Matt looked at me, his eyes were cold.  
  
"Why should I believe you?", he asked. He had to cough afterwards.  
  
He looked horrible as he did so. So vulnerable, so small, so helpless.  
  
"Because… I love you.", I said as short as I could.  
  
"If you love me you wouldn't have done such crap."  
  
"But Matt… you know me when I'm in rage."  
  
"That's no excuse. Please go now.", he said.  
  
He laid down again. The time before he was sitting in the large bed.  
  
"You can't forgive me, can you?", I asked, afraid of his answer.  
  
"You're right. I can't forgive you. I tell you the same thing that I told dad a few minutes ago: I can't forgive you now, I can't ever forgive you. Now, go outta my life."  
  
These were the last words which reverberated in the room, although I stood there and eyes him for about an eternity.  
  
I couldn't come up with another excuse.  
  
It seemed like I had lost him forever.  
  
As I felt the tears coming, I stumbled out the room.  
  
I went directly into the hospital's toilet.  
  
The tears were falling and I didn't want anybody to see that I cried.  
  
So I decided I better washed my face.  
  
I opened the door to the toilet. I have been the only one in there.  
  
I looked into the mirror.  
  
My eyes were red from crying. I felt more tears coming up.  
  
"What have you done, Taichi Yagami? What have you done?"  
  
I closed my eyes and broke down crying. Again.  
  
This has happened to me two days ago as I heard that Yama got hit by a car. I have been in the hospital since the evening after the accident.  
  
I really cared much about Matt. I didn't want to lose him. Not now, not ever.  
  
Suddenly the door opened.  
  
  
  
~Matt's POV~  
  
I couldn't believe that Tai really visited me.  
  
I mean, after he was so cruel to me, he came visiting me.  
  
Okay, I may not have been nice to him but what did you expect me to do?  
  
Forgiving is not so easy. He broke a promise, he was rude.  
  
I couldn't trust him anymore. At least I thought this way.  
  
I didn't know what I felt for him after the incident.  
  
I loved him in some ways. I mean, he was the one I talked to, I trusted. The first person I kissed.  
  
And on the other hand I could kill him for what he has done.  
  
But why did he visit me, anyways?  
  
Did he still love me? Or did he want to torture me?  
  
By the look in his big ingenuous eyes I would tell that he really loved me.  
  
Not an easy situation.  
  
Although I wanted to embrace him, to kiss him, to start crying in his arms because I wanted to say I'm sorry because of what I said, I couldn't.  
  
The wounds in my heart and soul were too deep.  
  
I hated myself for my stubbornness but what would you have done if you were in my situation?  
  
Would you hug him and kiss him and pretend that everything was okay, that nothing has happened?  
  
Since these bad this my uncle did to me I became more careful. I just had a few friends but these had been the best friends one could have.  
  
I didn't told him about the thing because I thought it was better for them not to know.  
  
And I was afraid of their reaction. So I decided not to tell them.  
  
Just my family and Tai knew about this.  
  
And I just told Tai because I learned to trust him over a long period of time.  
  
And then I thought that I could never trust him again.  
  
At least right then and there.  
  
But I think that I after some time the most wounds would be healed so that Tai and I could built up a new relationship.  
  
Not as lovers, but as friends…  
  
  
  
~End of the 11th chapter~  
  
Author's Note:  
  
What do you think? Shall I continue? How shall I continue? Any ideas? E- mail me or write a review.  
  
I'll just continue if I get more than 5 reviews. 


	12. Chapter 12

~Saying something stupid~  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Thanks for your reviews! Uah, I'm ill. That's horrible…  
  
Anyways, on with the fic.  
  
Digimon doesn't belong to me. I can't afford the money. *sigh*  
  
But I have a little toy, a tiny kitten, and her name's Kimmy. She's not real but sooo sweet.  
  
  
  
  
  
~Saying something stupid~  
  
~Tai's POV~  
  
I was laying on the ground as the door opened. Did someone hear me cry?  
  
"Mr Ishida.", I said frightened. I didn't expect him to enter the bathroom.  
  
"Tai. I searched you. I've seen you coming out of Matt's room."  
  
I jerked a bit when Mr Ishida mentioned his son's name.  
  
I stood up from the ground and washed my face. I couldn't go out like this.  
  
"Tai. I can understand Matt."  
  
Another jerk of mine. If I didn't know it better, I would say that Matt broke my heart.  
  
"He trusted you really. And, as hard as it sounds, you have thrown his trust out of the window."  
  
"Yes, I know. And I'm feeling terrible. I really didn't want this."  
  
Damn, I started crying another time.  
  
I sank to my knees. It was to much for me. I lost the love of my life and I was crying uncontrollably. What a shame.  
  
"Tai. Don't cry, okay?", Mr Ishida said and reached me a hand.  
  
I wiped my fresh tears away and took the big hand of Matt's father.  
  
"I tell you something: Matt's going to get over it. He just needs time. Don't be mad at him for that. I'm sure that he loves you. He just needs time.", Mr Ishida explained and embraced me afterwards.  
  
Why did he embrace me? Now I was completely unsure of what to do.  
  
"Mr Ishida. You can let go off me now. I'm okay.", I commented shyly. However, I succeeded. He let go off me.  
  
I sighed.  
  
"Why do you want us to come together again?", I asked. I was looking forward to his answer.  
  
"As you're the greatest son-in-law I can imagine, I want you two to be together.", he explained. And with these words he left the room.  
  
That left me alone. So he really wanted us to be together…  
  
~Matt's POV~  
  
Damn it. I hated it. I didn't want to stay longer in this room.  
  
I wasn't feeling ill, so they could let me outta this terrible 'prison'.  
  
I had to cough. Maybe I wasn't as healthy as I thought.  
  
Suddenly I heard someone knock on the door.  
  
"Come in", I said.  
  
I saw a tall brown-haired man enter the room. It was my father.  
  
"Matt, I've got good news for you.", he said and sat down on a brown chair which stood next to my bed.  
  
"Go on.", I said and noticed that his white shirt was wet at his right shoulder.  
  
I couldn't come up with an idea of how it could have happened. I wanted to ask him later.  
  
"I can take you home now, if you want to. The doctors said that everything would be fine. I'm not too sure about it, but they are the experts here.", my father explained to me.  
  
I felt so great. I would be out of this bed, this room, this building. I could embrace the whole world.  
  
You know why I hate hospitals so much?  
  
It started after what my so-called uncle did to me.  
  
I was alone in a white room. I felt so alone, and frightened. I thought that this man would come back to haunt me.  
  
No doctors or nurses were around. Neither were my parents or TK. It was a very funny feeling.  
  
They left me alone in this room for about an eternity. I looked at the floor, at the door, at the ceiling. Nothing happened.  
  
And then, after a short while, my parents burst into the room and I could feel tears rolling down my cheeks.  
  
I really have a paranoia now.  
  
Anyways, dad helped me with standing up and dressing.  
  
I wanted to go out of this building as soon as possible.  
  
When I was fully dressed, dad and I went out of the room and thanked the doctors, who were standing in the floor.  
  
We said goodbye and left the building.  
  
I let out a sigh when I was outside. I turned around and looked at it one more time.  
  
My eyes wandered down from the top of the building to the entrance hall.  
  
"Tai.", I said out loud.  
  
Dad stopped a few feet behind me. He has been walking the whole time I was looking at my 'home' for the last days.  
  
Also he turned around.  
  
The door of the entrance hall opened.  
  
Tai was walking directly to us. I took dad's arm. Man, that has to have looked weird.  
  
I hoped that dad would tell him to go.  
  
"Can I offer you a ride, Tai? I have to speak with both of you.", my father said.  
  
And both Tai and I were shocked.  
  
~End of this chapter~  
  
Author's Note:  
  
And, what do you think?  
  
Shall I continue?  
  
Nice reviews are welcome… 


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